Being beautiful has very little to do with your looks regardless of what Cosmo, the Kardashian’s or society emphasizes.  It’s how you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves. True beauty is reflected within your soul.  Your inner beauty never needs make up or the latest fashion trends.  Most women lack confidence and I’ll tell you why!  Other women tearing them down, something I have dealt with all my life. Simply because I took a great amount of pride in how I dressed & carried myself. I loved getting fixed up just to go to Wal-Mart or for no reason at all. I have always loved wearing pretty things, more bling the better is my motto. I have encountered so many mean girls “Look at her who does she think she is?” “she is trying to hard.”  “Omg its dinner, not a ball Jen.” “She is screaming look at me in that dress, she is such an attention whore.” “Seriously who is she trying to impress?” “Does she own anything besides stilettos? Looks like she just got off the pole.” “Look at her hair and boobs she is so fake.”

Always whispering, talking, or posting negative comments about me.  Creating actual hater groups and so  often I thought why are they being so mean to me? So harsh because I enjoy being a woman? Why do they hate me for simply wanting to be me? Why did they care what I wore? After all they didn’t have to buy it or wear it. 

How could I not let this effect me personally when it was personal attacks on me as person? Was I trying to hard? Should I just toss my hair in bun,put on some yoga pants, skip the make up and flashy jewelry?  Should I just go to the store in my pajamas? I see it more often than not. I started to question myself until I reached a revelation.  Lack of confidence..They are scared to do what I do despite many of them truly wanting to secretly, because of predetermined fear; fear of judgement! Wipe those thoughts from your mind ladies, especially your haters!  No one is stopping you but YOU!!!!! You get one chance to leave your mark on everyone, the world! One chance to leave your lasting impression. Ever heard someone say “wish I could dress like that?” “I use to dress like that when I was younger..” or maybe even you’ve said it as you flip through vogue or scrolling the newsfeed while waiting to get your normal basic hair cut or same old color. Afraid to chance or walk toward the edge and stand in your own expression with confidence! Majority of the time when a woman is talking down about another or pointing out her flaws, she envies her qualities and becomes resentful. Aristotle defined envy as pain of anothers good fortune, stirred by “those who have what we ought to have” …  Envy is one the most potent causes of unhappiness and keeps you bound, causing you to inflict emotional abuse & pain on others. Instead of using it negatively, use it as driving force or a motivational tool to bring positive changes within yourself internally and externally.  Don’t covet another’s life. Aspire to live the life that was given to you & no one else. Look, each and everyone of you are perfectly beautiful and unique to this world shine brightly and leave a wonderful impression especially on yourself. These confidence building steps and hacks will surely give you your confidence back! Stick to it and journal your journey! Comment about it below and let your beauty shine ladies.

Have Fun- Have fun in life, you only get this day once there will never be another. Once this life is over when you die, it is gone. No do overs or second chances so lighten up you don’t have to rush around for other people, or worry about their opinions or thoughts. Be you and find the fun in everything. Make work fun, driving home fun, chores with the kids fun. All these tips can be fun. You want to have more confidence your gonna have to have some fun. Actually “live” not just exist from day to day, going through the motions.

Smile on purpose- Smiling is the single best thing you can do in your life! Smiling makes you feel good on the inside. Challenge yourself to smile whenever you see someone face to face no matter your mood or how you feel. Set a timer on your smart watch or phone to go off every 30 minutes and you smile, even if your by yourself. Trust me this works amazing. 

Wake up early- Waking up early may be tough, but it is the easiest and cheapest way to establish confidence in your life. For many reasons; you have better use of your time because you wake up earlier. You will get more accompolished or achieve more and that makes you feel confident when you get more done. Less pressure to rush around and stress yourself out to be going 100 mph all day. You can take charge of your day, instead of reacting to events in your day, you determine what happens! Control equals confindence.

Clean your closet- Cleaning out your closet can be a physically, emotionally, and spiritually rewarding experience. I know even to me it is daugnhting and it’s like hearing the screeching sound of  horror music everytime the closet door opens. Yet I always find I already own so many amazing things that are hidden and it becomes a day of shopping in my own space, but  cluttered in a way that does not benefit me nor my wardrobe. So put on your playlist, grab some wine, invite a friend and enjoy going through your closet, making new outfits, getting rid of old stuff, re-organizing, etc. I promise you by the end of the weekend you will have the best week full of stellar new outfit creations, have donated some to charity, and maybe even made some profit on a few items. Plus you will have a celebrity looking closet with the up most satisfiying feeling when you open it every morning.

Let Go- Let go of all the stuff you have been packing around with you over the years. All the drama, problems, worry, and stress that piles up day after day. Look at it this way, if you had to physically carry that stuff with you like suit cases or bags into an airport would you even make it to the ticket counter before you were exhausted? How many carts would you need? How many trips? How much would your baggage fees cost you? How many looks would you get? See where I am going with this ladies? Get rid of it. How can you stand up straight and walk tall with confidence and sure direction when you have all these bags and suitcases hanging off you and tripping you up? Let it go. It has no value and does not determine who you are as a woman. 

Posture- “Sit up straight” you probably heard your mother say this when you were a child. Well she was right. Creating good posture habits is not only good for skeletal and muscular health and longevity, it also releases endorphenes in the brain that help produce positve hormones that make you happy. Happiness leads to confidence. So everytime you catch yourself walking or sitting with bad posture correct it and focus on it for 5 to 10 seconds before continuing what you were doing. Before you know it you will have developed a better posture and confidence habit.

Do something just for you- Do something, anything and do it for no other reason than just for yourself. The idea that we have as women is we are not worthy of treating ourselves or we do not deserve it, most women think they are too busy to do something for themselves. Nonesense, you can make 30 minutes in your schedule to stop and enjoy your favorite beverage in the park, go to get a pedicure or sing your favorite song in the car as you drive. Hey go window shopping on your way home. Whatever it is, do it randomly and just enjoy it. 

Be spontaneous- Spin off of the previous tip, be spontaneous! Do something you normally would not do, or have not done in a very long time! The normal chaotic routines that render us women as robotic super bitches does exactly that! So break up that monotony and steer your own path whether it be for 10 minutes of punch dancing to footloose, or twerking in the kitchen while mopping. Take a different way home from work, shop at a different grocery store, go to a different nail salon, or go to a different post office. While you may see it as a stresser, once completed you will be satisfied from the sense of overcoming challenge and discovery. Plus you never know you might meet someone new; future boyfriend, business partner, or something may happen that would never have happened if you were stuck in your normal routine.

Most importantly be you, there is only one in the whole world. Love yourself~ love others . Remember the golden rule to be a have a friend ~you must be one first…be true yourself & you will never disappoint the person who matters most. 

14 thoughts on “Confidence”

  1. I love it. You have such relatable issues that real women feel. We as women need to straighten other women’s crowns without bringing notice that it was crooked in the first place. This made me feel fun, and flirty at the same time giving me confidence to be ME.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent Jen! I think you put many pointers out there that every women can learn something from and practice. I’m not much of a major girly girl anymore but I’ll never shame anyone for being one. That is not productive to myself, or the other woman! If we can choose to be anything, be kind. It’s free, and productive. I called a lady in the store today beautiful. She started talking to me and I found out she’s 82 years old. That small gesture from me made her whole day! It was so easy and it felt great to lift her spirits!

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    1. Well I don’t think being a girly girl matters Doll, your heart doesn’t know that ,it only knows love and you radiate with it as well as strength:-) you have so much to offer the world straighten your crown, your beautiful:-)


  3. Love love love it!!! Beauty is only skin deep. Being a good human being is what is really important. Beauty fades but a good heart lasts forever. Thank you for sharing such an inspirational piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Such beautiful words from an amazing person! Your so right in every way! Women or should I just say America has become so head strong what the the media says or does that we don’t care to get to know someone or even look there way before we instantly judge them. It is all a constant battle everyday for women to keep pushing forward. Even little girls are hurting there self because of being bullied about there looks, fashion, or “taste”. It is not fair that as a society we accept it as a norm. everyone has to stand up somewhere and it definitely starts with yourself! It will always be your biggest challenge. But if we can walk around stressed about things we shouldn’t be stressed about challenging ourself to live up to “there” standards. Why would we not challenge ourself to live up to our own? I try to tell the women in my life who struggle daily to GET UP AND GET OUT, you can’t think about it you have to do it! The only person standing between you & your future changes you’ve been dying to make everyday IS YOU, if you wake up and the morning and something isn’t changed the way you wanted it to, YOUR the one in control. Not Facebook people you’ve probably met once or twice or even at all, not your neighbor, your husband, your kids, how tired you are…..JUST YOU!!!! I love all of your advice! I wish more people would take it! I strive everyday to be the best woman I can be!!! Thank you for all the encouraging words!!! 🥰❤️

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  5. I LOVE this 💕💕 Echos everything I pour into my teenage daughter everyday!! Women should be each other’s cheerleaders, when someone has something bad to say it is 100% about their issues (usually envy as you say). How boring would it be if we were all the same, totally refreshing to read-always be unapologetically YOU!! Thank you Jennifer xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww thanks, oh I know the pressure is on in your teens and mid 40’s we kinda go through the same issues trying to measure up… and need to stand together & empower one another. Thank you for your support, keep shining, you are beautiful xoxoxo


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