Tag Archives: Stalking

When Obsession knows no boundaries. How to Endure & overcome stalking cyberbullying.

When you hear the terms stalking or cyberbullying you imagine victims being stalked must be famous right? Like Versace, Selena Perez, or Rebecca Scheaffer that you hear about in the tabloids or the ones doing the cyber bulling are a bunch of middle school 12 year olds. Neither the case in my nightmare.

Often times such as in my case it’s someone you meet one time. Often not someone you’ve never met at all. Mine happens to be a woman I met literally one time at a cookout I hosted at my home. If I could turn back time and never have had that cookout or at least never encouraged my husband’s boss to invite his then girlfriend at the time as a guest.
But a rational person could have never foreseen what lie ahead. As I write this I am still being stalked, harrassed, and cyberbullied & in the proceedings of a legal remedy.

My nightmare began in 2014 & is currently still steadily continuing daily. With Facebook, apps that share all of your personal information for a mere $22.00, literally pinning your location & others that that provide these deeply disturbed individuals with the ability to set up fake numbers, fake profiles to continue their quest to hunt you & know of every detail of your life. Because remember you are an obsession, while you’re trying to live your life normally, you have become their life. I have thousands upon thousands of exhibits of evidence of the stalking I have endured these long 4 years organized in colored folders by each offense and law violated. And while many ask the question what did you do or say to make her do this, the answer is nothing. Just being me was enough. Profiles set up with my pictures, my birth name even being used by my stalker, my children’s pictures being stolen, my grandchildren being posted about, my business associates and friends being harassed, infringements laws broken posting intimate professional boudoir pictures of me & being shared without my photographers permission, my name and number shared on explicit dating sites, back to back texts, daily posts about me, shrines built on my birthday, false DHS reports made, sent a 3 page message on my wedding day, my Religious preferance mocked, mine & my husband’s jobs called and worst of all my daughter being followed while my stalker boasted on social media in pics at the location she was & that she was so close to her she could touch her and she didn’t even know it. I covered all the basis, changed my number twice, moved 4 times, blocked every account, filed reports, this time moving 4,330 miles away to Hawaii…it wasn’t enough. And as I mentioned these sites share all of your information and because I use social media for my business I am public therefore so is my every move just what someone like this craves. They have made it their mission to know every detail about you every minute of the day. You are the 1st person they think about when they wake up and the last before they go to sleep. As a victim you dread even picking your phone up in the morning seeing all the stalking and harassing before you even have your 1st cup of coffee. With the thoughts of ooh no what has she said or done now. Through the years I had very little engagement with her not even to defend myself, besides leave me alone or dont text or call my phone again receiving text after text that said I control you, I can text you if I want, You’re a Foster child nobody even wanted you and threw you away, or shaming my deceased mother. Up until very very recently I had been fighting the battle alone not even telling anyone about it. Past few weeks I broke my silence about it to make others aware by doing so a formed army of my own a group of friends that love me stood up for me giving my stalker little control and power over me anymore, as I was no longer an army of one. It is then that I seen everyone had become her victim at the point and subject to all the vile things she said and done to me, not to mention had prior arrests for harrassment and battery. You see most of these individuals are lonely, have no friends, no life of their own so they obsess over yours or humuliate you. And can become deadly, stalkers are sadistic. Not many things can be compared to the feeling that a person feels being stalked and harassed by an unstable individual leaving you helpless. Stalkers obsession with their victims can be very strong and any rejection to their unwanted communication can lead to violence and they have no regards for legal consequences in fact they feel above the law. Many many times they can even turn everything around on you making themselves the victim and actually believing it. Convincing themselves & as well as others that you had done something to deserve it. There used to be a time when stalking victims had very little protection no anti-stalking laws and unfortunately smany had to be victimized before the laws were set into place. These fatal attractions become very unsettling and dangerous. Lawmakers in Congress have a backlog of laws to vote on and often it takes time and alot of tragedies or takes a victim of crime to realize there is no law in place to protect them. Many cases leading to homicide the other half to suicide. Stalking behaviour identified in 94 percent of murders. That is 9 out of 10 murders. Lawmakers have been warned that failure to take these “seemingly harmless ” acts seriously and take action could lead to escalation in violence or even worse, death. Stalkers have very malicious intentions to put you at risk in every way possible to focus on their fixation. With an objective to end your life in one way or another. In my Criminal Justice class nearly every case we reviewed were examples of obsession or fixated behavior & ended in some form of violence before prosecution. Essentially authorities ignoring the behavior until something bad happens, “If she tries to hurt you or threatens you call 911” when all you have endured is a threat. We have stalking laws so why are the police not enforcing those laws? Most are not adequately trained in this area to know what stalking is or what the Judicial system can actually do for the victims. And they fail to take it seriously giving the stalker even more power because there is noone to stop them. All too often I’d read a text that said “there is nothing you can do, the police are not going to do anything ” or “I read the Facebook laws I can post what I want”. While these stalkers think they know the law and use Facebook & apps to track you, they are breaking the law “cyberbullying ” and Facebook has cybersecurity and it is a Criminal offense. It is the use of the internet or other electronic means to stalk, harrass, make false accusations, defamation slander, and libel. Cyberstalking is motivated by a desire to control, intimidate, or influence a victim. A conviction can and will result in probation, fines, restraining orders, Criminal penalties against the assailant including jail and even prison for repeat offenders. While you may be beat down, exhausted and powerless, Federal Stalking Laws do exist. 14 States classify stalking as a Felony, 35 States classify is as Felony the 2nd offense. I advise you to educate yourself about the laws in your State , contact the Stalking resource center national center for victims of crimes http://www.ncvc.org file with your local police department and Prosecutors office. Screenshot and print everything journal and keep records of events & dates. Go onto every site you can such as people finder, thruthfinder,  spokeo, peekyou, spyfly, instant checkmate, any site the Perpetrator can use to surveillance you and request to be opt-out removing your information from their site’s. View your privacy settings, don’t add anyone you don’t know, use strong passwords and change them often, be aware of your own online presence. Google yourself, I learned I was on some pretty raunchy sites which explained the texts I would get inviting me to do some pretty Explicit acts. Report cyberstalking and cyberbullying. These stalkers are unstable and mentally unhealthy, don’t engage with them it’s a compulsive and extensive behavior in my case lasting years they will not stop the behavior willing. Until they find another victim. The best course of action is to take preventive and protective action. Obsession knows no boundaries and it is unreasonable for a victim to wait for their Perpetrator to hit rock bottom or get bored with you to believe there is nothing you can do about it or in my case think it will just go away to do something about it. Don’t make empty promises or threats as I did through the years “if you harrass me one more time I’m filing charges”. Take my advice when I tell you they won’t just have a revelation one day and think wow this irrational behavior that I should seek professional help for, its never going to happen. Cyberstalking is increasing every year, stand up for yourself and enforce your rights, demand peace and boundaries in your life..you deserve it and no should be violated the way I have been. Stalking victims don’t have bruises or visible injuries on the outside but day after day emotionally raped and violated is an act of terrorism we face every hour of everyday. End the epidemic of the new milenium, your anguish and reclaim your space.